Saturday, January 16, 2010

Unplubishable Thoughts and Everyday Life

The blessing and the curse of a blog is that it has the potential of being read by one or more persons (particularly when it's set to automatically post on the newsfeed of Facebook friends!). There is definitely a lot to be said for the thrill of knowing that my words have gone "out there" and I may get feedback, and who knows, maybe one thing I say will have eternal impact on a reader. But the flipside is, I'm always conscious of my possible audience, and as a result, my thoughts are edited....

Granted, most of my thoughts aren't worth printing anyway. They are the hodge-podge of the everyday, the human heart, and need to be muddled through between me and God before I should even think of airing them to any but my nearest and dearest. If I were writing in a pen-and-paper journal, I could pour out the muddle, and then ponder it and perhaps sort things out more. Time being what it is these days, though, I'm more likely to write here where the bit of feedback I get is an inspiration to write more....

So I guess it's all in my purpose for writing in the first place, huh?

This week was one of those weeks of dichotomy, where my brain has been running on various tracks ranging from the deep ("Am I letting God work through this issue in me?") to the light ("Jonathan looks adorable in pastels...I bet he would look better than any of the girls did in pink!" ...Don't worry, I won't do that to him!), and life has been trucking along at its breakneck pace.

Here's a sampling:

We had our REAL moms (formerly MOPS) meeting Friday morning, the first of this semester, so the week started off with a Leadership Team meeting that covered a ton of material--good, thorough, and exhausting. We've been working to find our stride this year with our new name, and new coordinator (oh wait, that's me!). We want so much to be able to reach the women in our community and be an encouragement to them, and sometimes it gets discouraging to see that the group is smaller than it was a few years ago. A lot of this has to do with the economy, but one always continues to look at the issue and think, "What can we do better to connect with our moms?" I love the fact that this ministry has been such a strong one at our church, and the team is continually one of moms who really have the heart for it. When I started in the group about six years ago, I wondered if I would ever feel connected with the other moms. I only had Keren, and she was anything but the "typical" two-year-old. But over the years, the bonds were formed, and when I stepped into the coordinator role last summer, I realized how much God had been opening my heart to fellow moms. But with that vested interest comes the battling of personal demons--"What if I botch it?"--and the counter of, "You know what, it's really not about you! If it's God's ministry (which it is), He'll take care of it!" Got to focus on the latter....

In other news, Kraig and I were able to cement the plan for our event for remembering Keren and I got an evite sent out this week. I wish I could have sent it to a ton more people, near and far, because so many have been an intimate part of our journey this past year. But it seemed important to focus primarily on our connections at Old Village, Keren's school. We're planning a light brunch at our house with a theme of  "Looking Back, Moving Forward." We're remembering Keren and how much we learned, and are still learning, from her life. More than that, though, we want to hear what's been going on in the lives of those around us--how God has been at work in stretching and growing them. Hmmm.... So much to talk about there; I'll save that for other posts.

...And there were the other events of the week.... Clare's preschool, time with friends, a Gideons' dinner, taking down the Christmas tree, skyping Grandma and Grandpa (Kraig's folks). All the little details of life that put a week together. Amazing how God can work throughout all these things, and help me become more of what He desires me to be. At least that's my prayer!

Enough rambling. That's my publishable update for now!

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you and Kraig have a firm plan for the celebration of Keren's life! I'm sure it will be an emotional and meaningful time. What a lovely way to use her life as a means to invest in others.

    And just to let you know, I actually DID dress up my oldest son in a pink dress and take his picture in it!! He was such a cute "girl"!! I told him recently that I was going to show it to his future girlfriend/wife someday and he rolled his eyes at me. :-)

    And my blog is edited too.....I have often contemplated a second blog for me and just a few others, but no time at the present.... thank you for sharing what thoughts you feel are appropriate to share!